


careful what you wish for

by gurj14



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Jealous Clarke Griffin, Love Potion/Spell, Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:14:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29876169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gurj14/pseuds/gurj14
Summary: pretty much crack.Love potion on campus goes wrong, Finn is utter trash, Lexa loves boobs, Clarke can get scary jealous, and Ice Queen Nia just wants kittens to have mittens so they aren't cold. Also, Indra needs a vacation.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, lexa and boobs, past finn collins/clarke griffin (pretty one-sided)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 168
Collections: Clexaweek2021





	careful what you wish for

**Author's Note:**

> there is sex change magic in this, but there are no sexuality changes
> 
> Thanks to my beta Chip!!!

Downtown in the city center of Polis, a magical realm and bustling haven for those gifted with magic, young Finn Collins was nervously fidgeting in his tighty whities as he paid for something highly illegal. 

“Come on lady,” he said, nervously looking around and adjusting the hoodie over his signature floppy hair. (It was his pride and joy, his most noticeable feature -- it would do no good for someone to recognize him by his luscious locks doing shady back-alley magic business!)

“Done.” The grey-haired lady he was speaking with was an established ‘black magic’ dealer, eyes an icy grey that promised trouble and a smile so wicked he should really know better than to deal. “One thousand chips, as we agreed.” 

Finn handed the bag of money over like the fool he was, ignoring all warning signs and trading for the illegal substance being traded: a vial of liquid, neon pink in colour. 

“Pleasure doing business with you,” the woman said in a haunting tone right before she magicked her newly acquired chips to disappear with a dramatic flourish of her excessively long finger-nailed hands, her menacing grin widening at her new fortune. “This money will be most helpful in my plans.”

“So how does this work?” Finn asked her, eyeing the vial and not concerned with what this woman ‘planned.’ “I just need to get her to drink it?”

“Love potions will work, but only within God’s laws,” the grey-haired lady warned Finn, tone eerie and mysterious. 

“The fuck does that mean?” He demanded to know, having relinquished a lot of coin for this heart-warping commodity. 

Love potions were banned magic, and he knew if he was caught he was  _ so  _ fucked. But the heart wants what the heart wants, and his heart wants Clarke Griffin back. 

“Your lesson to learn kid,” the woman’s voice was firm and suddenly missing all mysterious shade, warning him to not be an idiot. Still, she told him how to work the potion. “It needs to be consumed within two hours from now to work, and the potion will take effect by sunrise. It will last six months until it wears off or is countered with an anti-potion.”

Waving her egregious fingernails, she was gone, the only sign she had been there was a wisp of glittery smoke. Finn looked down at the pink liquid in his hands. This was it. This was how he was going to get Clarke back. 

(This was the moment he would reflect on later, a moment where he should have known not to make such a highly illegal and unintelligent choice.) After all, when around magic, the age-old saying counts for double: ‘be careful what you wish for.’

/

Polis University was  _ the  _ top academy of magic, so any post exam bash was bound to be in the Grounders Greek house.

Grounders Greek house was  _ the  _ spot for the most raucous of student parties. 

President Lexa Woods and her student council had everything roaring on full cylinders, and if Finn was in any other mood, he would be excited with the firework charms and the quality of the surround sound music spell -- and if he was still with Clarke he would most definitely be playing a game of Mystical Pong and making flaunting his hair with his trademark flop. 

Clarke was easy to find (near the kegs) laughing with her friends by a table. 

_ I’m sorry Finn, but we can’t do this anymore, _ she had said over a month ago, walking away from him after similarly dumping him to the empty coffee cup she tossed in a recycling portal nearby. 

He needed her back, and he hated how happy she looked without him. Gripping the vial tighter in his fist, Finn hid his hands in his hoodie’s pockets before approaching her. 

“Clarke!” 

/

Clarke froze, having hoped at least for tonight she could be free of  _ this  _ particular asshole.

Raven and Octavia gave him a look of anger (Raven) and pity (Octavia), but he ignored it, as he tended to ignore all signs. 

“Finn, hey.” Clarke had dumped him over a month ago now and after a lot of begging her to take him back, she had finally admitted to him that she was with someone else. Whether it was the truth or just a coping mechanism, Finn felt this was his last chance to get her back, and his desperation was what led him to a black market magic dealer to get his hands on a forbidden potion. 

“Can we talk?” Finn asked. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Finn...” Clarke looked away from him, partly uncomfortable and considerably exhausted. 

“Just to talk, please, then I’ll leave you alone.” He knew her, knew this would be something she would agree to. 

“Everything okay here?” A new voice interrupted them, and Finn was surprised to see it was Lexa Woods -- president of Grounders Greek house and their university, magical prodigy rumoured to have already been promised a position in the Magic Council under the tutelage of The Flamekeepers themselves. 

“We’re fine, Lexa,” Clarke said, turning to face her, and a hand placed on Lexa’s forearm showed they knew one another. “I’m just going to talk to Finn for a minute, alright?”

Finn’s eyes narrowed at the touch. Clarke was ‘with someone new’ and now he knew who the new person was. He shrunk under Lexa’s intimidating gaze but his heart twisted when he realized just how close Clarke was to her… and worst of all, how nice Lexa’s hair was. 

_ Not for long _ , he corrected his insecurities, soon Clarke would be his again. 

Lexa finally took her eyes off of him, as if granting mercy. “Alright. I’ll wait here for you.”

Clarke kissed her cheek, whispering something to her quietly that he couldn’t hear, intimate and close, leaving no doubt that they were indeed a couple.

She gestured to him to follow, so Finn stumbled after her, glad when Clarke led them to the beer keg. 

He mentally cheered. 

That would make this so easy, slip the potion in Clarke’s beer right before she went to play Mystical Pong. 

“Here, let me.” He stepped in front of her, discreetly pouring her a cup with the pink liquid from his sleeve. He smirked. He didn’t feel as guilty as he should have (on account of being a disgusting human being), just relieved that his plan was working and soon Clarke would be back in his arms, complimenting his hair. 

“Right, thanks.” Clarke accepted it but did not take a sip. 

He poured himself one too, waiting. She still didn’t drink from the cup, so he took a sip first, opening up his ‘talk.’ 

“Are you and Lexa Woods, like, a thing?” He asked, not wanting to think of the way Clarke seemed close to her. Comfortable. Intimate. 

Clarke shrugged her shoulders, unapologetic and unremorseful for their breakup. “We are, yeah…”

This angered Finn. How could she walk away so easily from what they had? How could she move on so quickly?

“What did you want to talk about?” Clarke asked, glancing back to where Lexa, Raven, and Octavia were chatting. 

“I just wanted to say sorry, for how I’ve acted since we ended things.” He lifted his cup to her for a cheer. “And to wish you all the best.”

“Oh.” Clarke looked pleasantly surprised and cheered her cup to his. “Thanks, Finn. You’ll meet someone too, you know? Take care.”

And then, the unforeseeable twist was thrown into his plan: Clarke never took a sip of the beer, turning away from him and walking back to where Lexa was not-so-nicely watching now.

And then she passed Lexa the beer. 

Finn panicked. 

With gut-wrenching horror, he watched the most famous student on campus take a sip of his love-spiked potion. 

He waited, not knowing what to expect, but nothing happened -- Clarke and Lexa left towards the Mystical Pong tables and he was left alone, guilty heart thundering in his chest, one question bouncing around in his head.  _ What the fuck was going to happen by sunrise? _

/

Lexa smiled fondly, watching Clarke stumble into her bedroom on the top floor of Grounder Greek house. 

“You were incredible,” Lexa said, reaching forward, stepping up behind Clarke, and wrapping her arms around her waist. “Clarke… I…”

Clarke’s breath hitched as soft lips pressed gently where her neck and shoulder met. She turned around in Lexa’s arms, kissing her intently on the lips. Lexa let out a sweet sound of pleasure before angling her face for a deeper, fuller kiss. 

“Wait, wait.” Lexa backed away as one of Clarke’s hands tried to go up to her shirt. 

“What?” Clarke asked, concerned. “Do you not want to?”

“No I do, I do.” Lexa rested their foreheads together, reassuring Clarke that absolutely yes was she in the frame of mind to touch titties. “But we’re still a little drunk, Clarke. Let’s have some sobriety gum.” 

Clarke accepted the minty gum Lexa had offered from her pocket, chewing it. Within a minute, she was sober, no longer feeling the effects of alcohol. She copied Lexa, depositing her gum back in the wrapper and throwing it in the bin. 

“Now that you’re sober.” Lexa reached for her hands. “Do you still want to?”

“More than anything,” Clarke said, her heart beating wildly in her chest. “I want you.” 

Lexa inhaled sharply, eyes welling with tears. “Clarke I… I love you. I want to do this with you too, I need you to know I’m in this for all you’re willing to give me.”

//

Finn woke up with a hangover the next day, much past sunrise, stretching on his bed. A high-pitched sound escaped Finn’s mouth when the sunlight hit his eyes. Finn frowned at the sound. Something felt different today. 

“What the fuck!?” Finn jumped up, finding a reflection in the mirror. Instead of the usual face and hair of a young man, there was a girl, a really hot girl with curves, staring back. 

“What the fuck!” 

/

“You’re b-breaking up with me?” Clarke couldn’t believe Lexa -- the same Lexa who had sworn her undying love last night -- was dumping her this morning after they finally had sex. “What the fuck? Is this a joke, Lexa?”

“I’ve fallen in love with another woman, Clarke,” Lexa told her, dead serious. “I don’t know how it happened but it just did.” 

“I don’t, I don’t understand.” Clarke couldn’t stop the tears from escaping her eyes. “You just told me you loved me! We haven’t left this room, how could -- you  _ used  _ me!” 

/

“Oh my god oh my god,” Finn rambled, pacing the dorm room. What kind of shit was this? And did girls always feel pain like this when it was the time of the month? Magicking the blood to stop was embarrassing, and there had been an unfortunate underwear change. 

The door opened and his roommate Murphy walked in, looking shocked when their eyes met. 

“Um…” Finn realized the magically transformed body’s breasts were pressed tightly against the white t-shirt and Murphy’s eyes were wide and staring. 

“No way Finn hooked up with someone as hot as you.” Murphy closed his jaw, stepping back. 

“Hey!” Finn said, offended. “Fuck you, man.” 

“I think I’m in love,” Murphy murmured. “What’s your name sweetheart?”

“Murphy you dickwad.” Finn grabbed the hoodie, still stinking of illusion weed from last night’s party, and pulled it over his head, embarrassed with how tight it felt against his new chest’s landscape. Definitely D-Cups. “It’s me, Finn.”

Murphy laughed for a long while. When he seemed to notice Finn was not laughing and deadly serious, he frowned. 

“Wait seriously? But sex change magic is done only if…”

Murphy’s eyes bulged out, comically shocked. 

“Dude, I thought we were friends! You could have told me you felt different inside. I would have understood. My sister is trans. I could have been there for you bro. I mean sis. Wait, would it be weird if I asked you out? You make a hot chick.”

“That’s not it.” Finn was smacking away the longer, silkier hair to see better. “I’ve been hexed and tricked by some crazy lady! And yeah bro, that would be gross!”

“That kind of magic can't be hexed,” Murphy told him. “It’s done by professional surgeon magicians under God’s law! Dude, what the fuck did you do?”

And because there was no one else to share it with, Finn spilled his most recent purchase. 

/

Indra had seen a whole lot of shit in her time as Dean of the most prestigious magic school in the world. 

But this? This was new. 

“So, Miss Griffin, you used telekinesis to throw Miss Woods from her bedroom window, out of the Grounder Greek house, into the campus garden. Fifty feet, into my rose bushes.” 

Across from her, Clarke Griffin squirmed in her seat, refusing to make eye contact. In the chair beside Clarke, Lexa Woods had an ice pack pressed to a black eye and some scratches on her usually clear porcelain cheeks from said rose bush’s thorns. 

“Then you were quoted to yell at her in front of many eyewitnesses, ‘you cheating miserable bitch.’ And, finally, you set her jacket on fire.” 

Clarke sunk lower into her seat and Indra removed her reading glasses, pinched the bridge of her nose, and tried to comprehend this situation. 

There was no quelling her fury. 

“Why is the  _ captain  _ of our  _ champion  _ telekinetic tennis team using  _ pyromancy  _ and violence on the  _ president  _ of our university!?” She hissed.

There was silence. Indra slammed her hand down and used her magic to create a clap of thunder, the rattle, and booming effect as she shouted shook her office. 

“Answer me!” 

“I broke up with Clarke,” Lexa said, speaking up through a wince. “And she has every right to feel the way she does. After telling her I loved her, I fell in love with another girl.”

Indra stopped her voice effects. “Miss Griffin, you being dumped is not a good enough reason to resort to violence!”

“Dean!” Clarke looked hurt. “She told me she loved me, seduced me to have sex with her, and then dumped me for someone else without even leaving the bedroom! There is no one else! She...”

Clarke burst into tears. 

“You’re suspended.” Indra was exasperated. She had never expected this behaviour from her top students. 

“Dean! I didn’t actually hurt or burn her!” Clarke seemed to realize what being suspended meant. “We have our tennis championship coming up! I can’t be suspended.” 

“She has a black eye, Clarke. That’s an assault on a student with multiple eyewitnesses!” 

“Dean please,” Lexa spoke up again, looking sad. “Honestly, I deserved it. I know where Clarke is coming from. Just last night I told her I was in love with her, that I couldn’t live without her and many other things during our passionate… embrace.” 

Somedays, Indra hated her job. 

“And now she feels betrayed because I love someone else. I would throw me out of a window and set me on fire too.” 

Indra sighed. “Even so, Clarke was seen by practically the entire campus, Lexa. I can’t let her go unpunished.” 

“Don’t suspend her, please, just say she was given an aggression hex or something. I’ll do your paperwork for the rest of the year?”

Indra did like the sound of that last part. “Fine, I suppose that’s acceptable.” 

Lexa turned to her ex. “Look, Clarke, I’m sorry I hurt you but… I’m in love with her. I didn’t mean to, it just happened.” 

Clarke burst into tears, again, shaking her head in disbelief. “You’re so cruel, Lexa, I loved you so much and you took advantage of me!”

Indra had to admit if anyone pulled on her what Lexa did to Clarke -- she would have set them on fire too. 

“At least tell me  _ who _ you cheated on me with!” Clarke tried to wipe her tears with her sleeve, and Indra telekinetically moved the tissue box across the desk. 

Clarke mumbled a thanks, blowing out snot from her nose. Indra nodded. 

“I… I don’t know Clarke,” Lexa said, giving her sad puppy eyes a higher degree of sadness. 

“You leave me for someone else but won’t even tell me  _ who _ ?” Clarke shook her head. “There is no one else, is there? Just admit you’re a heartless piece of shit!”

“Well, I mean, I… I don’t know  _ who  _ she is exactly, I just know that I love her,” Lexa tried to explain, pleading. 

Clarke looked confused and ready to set her on fire again, but Indra felt dread swirl in her stomach. 

“Oh my god,” Indra whispered, finally realizing what was happening. 

“What, what is it?” Clarke asked Indra, tears dried up as she too realized something was wrong. 

“It’s a love potion. Lexa’s been given a love potion.” 

“ _ What _ ?” 

/

“I’m so fucked.” Finn had dark sunglasses on, arms folded over his new body. He was lacking a bra and they bounced a lot with every step. 

“Clarke is going to fucking murder you.” Murphy was snickering, finding the humour now after telling Finn of for being, well, stupid. 

They were outside in the campus garden, on their way to grab a shuttle bus to town where Finn bought his potion from for the anti-potion the eerie lady had mentioned to him. 

“Clarke was supposed to take the potion, not Woods,” Finn reminded him. “Fuck.” 

“You know how it works, right?” Murphy didn’t sound sympathetic at all. 

“Clearly, I didn’t!” Finn hissed. 

“Potions like love ones, they work under God’s law. So if your love potion was given to Lexa but you’re a dude -- you can’t change her sexual orientation. So you got changed into the kind of, um, physique she would fall in love with. I’m also guessing that’s why you have pretty big titties--”

“Shut the fuck up Murphy, I already figured that part out!” 

“Just saying!” Murphy defended. 

/

“We haven’t had someone idiotic enough to use a love potion on campus for years,” Professor Kane, potions master, said as he cooked up his remedy. “Almost done.”

Clarke had taken to gently pressing the ice pack to Lexa’s bruised face, now aware that Lexa was under the influence of a potion. 

“Hang on baby this nightmare will be over soon,” Clarke assured her. “And we’ll get you to the infirmary. I’m so sorry I hurt you…” 

“Done,” Kane said, pouring out some oozing purple potion into a small cup. “It just needs to cool a bit.” 

“Wait, I can smell her!” Lexa leaned up, sighing out like the most heavenly scent was available. “She’s nearby! I need to see her. I love her.”

“Sit down and take this potion right now, Lexa,” Clarke scolded her. 

“Okay Clarke,” Lexa said, reaching for it instantly. 

“Actually wait. Let her lead us, Griffin,” Indra told the student, halting the intake of the anti-potion. “I’m going to expel whatever imbecile thought it was okay to give a fellow student a forbidden potion. This would save us investigation time.”

“Lead the way.” Kane poured the anti-potion into a vial to take it with them. 

Clarke nodded. “Fine. But if you don’t mind, Dean, I’m going to punch the bitch.” 

“Just do it when I turn around so I have deniability. ‘

“Course.” 

Lexa led the way, down the stairs, and out to the campus garden. As if pulled by an invisible string, she saw a figure in a hoodie and ran forward to tug on their arm.

/

“Ow, what the--” Finn was yanked around and suddenly Lexa Woods was kneeling. “Shit.” 

“You, I love you,” Lexa said seriously. “What’s your name?”

“You drugged my girlfriend, you bitch!” 

With a crack, Finn’s nose broke. 

“She only kneels for me!” 

“Told ya Clarke was going to kill you,” Murphy's voice came from behind him 

“Griffin, I said when I have deniability,” Dean Indra’s voice warned her. 

Finn groaned, blood gushing from a broken nose. 

“Clarke, Clarke.” Murphy stepped in front of Finn. “It’s Finn.”

Clarke seemed to recognize the hoodie, stepping back in shock as Finn looked guilty and caught. The sunglasses were on the grass and there was no hiding now. 

“We were just on our way to the lady this dumbass bought the potion from,” Murphy explained. 

“I love her.” Lexa was on her feet. “And I will fight anyone who keeps me away from her!”

Anger coiled in Clarke’s gut, and she glared hard at Finn. Finn gulped. Snatching the potion from Professor Kane’s hand and thrusting it into Lexa’s chest, Clarke was furious. 

“Drink this  _ right  _ now, Lexa.”

“Okay,” Lexa complied, taking the potion, clearly still whipped for Clarke even under the influence of a love potion. 

“Give it about ten seconds,” Kane cautioned as they all watched Lexa make a face from the bitter taste. 

Seconds ticked on, and suddenly, Lexa sneezed. 

Finn felt the body change, and then patted at his once again flat chest, no longer double-d packaged, and grinned. 

“It worked!”

“Where am I?” Lexa asked in confusion. “Weren’t we in bed, Clarke, what… Dean?”

Clarke gently rubbed Lexa’s back. “It’s okay, Lexa.” 

Lexa touched her head like it had a pounding migraine and then asked, “Why do I smell like smoke? Was I set on fire?”

“Finn Collins!” Dean Indra addressed the student coldly. “You have violated a student with the use of a forbidden potion on this campus. You’ll have charges pressed against you, I will have to expel you, and you will need to surrender the name of who you purchased this potion from.” 

“Dean I just...” Finn knew his actions were inexcusable and he turned his apology to Clarke. “I just wanted Clarke to love me again. Clarke, I’m so sorry…”

“Finn, you -- you were going to use that on me?” Clarke was disgusted. “How could you be so -- I was never in love with you, to begin with! We dated, it didn’t work out, and I’m sorry, okay, but I just didn’t feel the same way! And this disgusting shit you pulled made me lose any respect I had left for you!”

Lexa, still confused as memories came back to her, mumbled, “Did you throw me out of a window?”

/

“Heard his dad had him shipped out to a rehabilitation program in the Ice Nation,” Raven said Clarke, telling her the rumors about Finn’s fate. 

Everyone on campus was talking about Finn Collins trying to use a love potion on Clarke Griffin, and the fallout, with his subsequent expulsion and family embarrassment. 

“I had a mind to punch him myself,” Murphy said. “He didn’t even understand God’s laws! Unfriended.”

“If I ever see him again I will burn his hair and his dick off.” Clarke’s fist exploded into vengeful pyromancy flames. 

“Heard he had to shave his head,” Murphy supplied, watching Clarke’s satisfaction of this knowledge. 

“How’s Lexa?” Octavia asked Clarke. “Also, Murphy, I love your addition to our group dynamic. You bring the sarcasm well. We should hang more, dude.” 

Murphy winked. 

“Lexa made sure he wrote a public apology to the National LGBT Magic Community for going against God’s law.”

“Good.” 

“And then,” Clarke smirked triumphantly, eyes glazing over in desire. “She’s been making it up to me. Biblically.” 

“Damn girl.” Raven high-fived her. “Get it, Griffin.” 

/

Dean Indra, Professor Kane, and two magic police detectives found the woman at the alley point Finn described during his interrogation. 

“Of course it’s you, Nia,” Indra sighed, recognizing the woman. “You can’t be selling love potions, Nia.” 

“I never  _ sold  _ a love potion,” Nia defended her actions, offering her side of the story. “I accepted money from a boy and donated it to Mittens for Kittens. I gave him a substance.”

“You know and we know you gave him a love potion.” 

“I’m sorry there’s no proof. But thanks to him, a hundred kittens now have mittens.” 

Indra and Nia stared off with narrowed eyes. After a long moment, Indra sighed. 

“I need a vacation.” 

//

  
  
  
  
_fin_. 


End file.
